Jesus, Dem.

How would Jesus vote? It’s an intriguing question to which, apparently, everybody has an answer; and that means a lot of answers. Michael Jinkins says that Jesus’ vote would surprise us religious people, and Derek Davis says Jesus would not vote at all. James More, on the other hand, is confident that Jesus is a Democrat. "If ever there were a bleeding-heart liberal," stated James Moore, confidently, "it was Jesus Christ."

But the truly revealing (though not as specific as we could all wish) answer comes from Bud Tutt, who squirms at the suggestion that "people of faith" (this apparently including Jesus) have only one viable option in the voting booth: George W. Bush. "As I read the Scriptures and as I understand faith," says Mr. Tutt, "God’s side [read Democrats] is the group that’s feeding the poor, caring about children, making sure that people have enough food to eat," and, (most importantly) "not killing others," by which he means the Iraq war, which the Republicans (not God’s side) support.

John Moyers, too, is concerned about the way people of faith view politics. Conservatives (probably even those Republicans, too) "would have us believe that morality is all about where you stand on abortion," he says, and this is "simply wrong." And that’s that.

Well, taking care of the poor and caring about children is wonderful, of course, but I find it hard to accept that it’s really all about giving food to little children with your right hand, while you’re helping to murder little children with your left. However, I guess God will have to overlook that part of it, being too busy praising the Democrats for their newest welfare program.

Yes, I can definitely see Jesus as a beaming Democrat, waving to the multitudes as his followers pass out bag lunches. Probably (though this isn’t actually recorded), he spent his free time touring the slums of Galilee, saying "We really must have a go at this overpopulation problem, Peter. It’s getting out of hand—-take this money and go donate it to the local abortion clinic, and shake hands with the women as you go out—every vote counts, you know."

"Many analysts have criticized Democrats for failing to more effectively reach religious voters," says this article. Now it seems the critics will have to recant; the Democrats have won their religious majority at last—Jesus, Democrat.