Here, what evil scheme is this? What insidious plot have I unwittingly uncovered?! I try to read an article in the Washington Post, and what happens? Not only do they try to extract the name of my country from me, but also attempt to make me tell my date-of-birth, my zip code and my gender!! Isn't this stuff classified information? They ought to be reported for this. A fascist secret society operating right underneath my nose, as it were! I am going to report them. How dare they try to worm information out of me? I refuse to be brain-washed! I shall never surrender my freedom for a measly little article! Ah, but with what cunning they laid the trap! Just tell us these few, unimportant things, they intimate, and we will open up the the treasure houses of knowledge to you! How could such a diabolical organization exist in Free America? I'm going to tell Rush Limbaugh on them.

I am going to break my unwritten rule and write about something other than politics. But Jamie, you say, you've already been writing about other things. My point exactly. It is my firm belief that too much politics stupefies the brain, and I certainly don't intend to be brain-dead by the age of thirty. Therefore I have promised to vary my diet to include more interesting topics.